


The Hottest Twink in Town

by orphan_account



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Flirting, I apologise but also I am not sorry in the slightest, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Out of Character, this is so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Episode two when Jaskier and Geralt meet but if Jaskier was just 2% thottier. I regret nothing.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 11
Kudos: 276





	The Hottest Twink in Town

**Author's Note:**

> I can't remember what Geralt was wearing this episode so just pretend he was wearing that sexy sexy shirt from the first episode. You know the one. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy ;)

“So, you come here often?” 

The melodic voice of the bard, Jaskier, snapped the witcher out of his solitary brooding and back into the world around him. He glanced up at where the voice had come from, seeing a skinny man with sandy hair and soft features staring back at him. He was smirking. Geralt remained silent, but shook his head, his stoic expression firmly set in place.

“No, you’re right, I’m sure I would’ve noticed if someone like you had been here before.” Jaskier's smirk grew wider, and he sat down at the chair in front of Geralt in a rather undignified manner. His legs were spread wide open, and he held his chin aloft with his hands, his elbows resting on the table. 

“Can I get you a drink, muscles?” The bard batted his eyelids. Geralt blinked.

“Go away,” the witcher responded, sounding slightly annoyed. Jaskier, unsatisfied, pouted.

“Come on, grey hair! One little drink can’t hurt, surely.”

“I already have one,” Geralt replied indignantly in his gravelly voice.

“Oh, but I insist! I always love to welcome the new visitors. Unless, of course, you’d like the other welcome package?” 

“The other welcome package?” The words were out of Geralt's mouth before he could stop himself, and he instantly regretted it. 

The bard grinned, leaning over the table and staring at the witcher with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’m afraid I can’t elaborate on that here, but if we were to go upstairs, I'd be happy to show you,” he breathed with a wink, trailing his fingers down Geralt's arm. Geralt inhaled sharply.

“Look, bard, leave me alone. I'm not interested.”

“Ugh, you’re such a spoilsport! And a liar, too.” He winked again. Geralt was close to punching the man in the face, or perhaps somewhere it’d hurt more, but he resisted. He was a gentleman, after all.

“A liar? If I’m a liar then you’re a very brave man, lute player. I have a mind to leave you with a bloody nose – perhaps more.”

“Ooh, so feisty! I love a man with a bit of zest. It really gets me going, y'know?” 

Geralt growled.

“But you are a liar! You said “I’m not interested” when I can prove for a fact that you are.”

“Go on then, prove me wrong.” Jaskier's grin grew wider.

“One – your eyes, my friend. They tell all.”

“If you say my pupils have dilated- ”

“Oh no, not at all! I’m talking about how much raw sexual tension I can see in them. So much brooding, so little release! Poor, poor man. I can help with that, if you'd- ”

“Not interested!”

“Hah, so you say. Anyways, number two! The way you hold yourself just screams “I’m in need of some tender loving”. Am I wrong?”

Geralt grumbled something unintelligible and scathing under his breath.

“And number threeeee,” he sang in a sing-song voice, “is that you didn’t explicitly turn down my drink offer, big boy, which doesn’t seem very 'you', now does it? If someone else had done the same thing, I’m willing to bet you’d have shot them down right off the bat! Plus I’m like, super, super hot. Point three and a half.”

Geralt let out an annoyed sigh and stood up, going to leave.

“Aw, leaving so soon?” The bard looked like a kicked puppy. Geralt rolled his eyes.

“Don’t follow me,” Geralt said pointedly, heading in the general direction of the stairs.

“Is that, like, a reverse psychology thing? Please let it be a reverse psychology thing,” Jaskier muttered under his breath, scurrying after the witcher with a hopeful look on his face.

Geralt entered his rented room, purposefully leaving the door slightly ajar. If that bard were to follow him then, well, he’d just send him away again.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

He pulled off his shirt, chucking it onto a chair next to the bed. He kept his necklace on, as per usual, and sat down on the bed, facing the door. He was expecting company, after all.

“Knock knock, you in there, big boy?” The bard, right on time.

“Why would you say knock knock when you can just...” he trailed off with a sigh. “What do you want, twink?”

“You know full well what I want, muscles,” he said, pushing the door open and heading inside. He paused when he saw Geralt's naked torso, and gulped quickly.

“Holy shit you’re so muscly,” he whispered, eyes wide, much to Geralt's amusement. “I mean, I could tell you were muscly, hence the nickname, but fuck.”

Jaskier was practically salivating at this point, to which Geralt let out a small chuckle. 

“So, bard, we’re upstairs. Now feels like the right time to ask: what’s the welcome package?”

Jaskier just grinned.

They were lying in bed next to each other, naked, Jaskier panting heavily and Geralt looking as he always did: perfectly rugged.

“I’m so not going to be able to walk tomorrow,” Jaskier remarked with a grin, turning on his side to face Geralt. He lazily trailed a finger over the other man’s chest. “You really know how to give a guy a good time, don’t you?”

“You were my first. Guy, I mean.”

“No! Really? You were amazing! I don’t think I’ve had better, which is reaaally saying something, since I’ve slept with, y'know, the majority of the folks round here. Honestly, I couldn’t tell.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Anytime,” the bard responded with a wink.

“Maybe I should write a ballad about this.”

“Oh?” Geralt replied.

“Yes. “Hottest twink in town beds the broodiest bear in history”. What d'ya think?”

“Bear?”

“Oh, uh, slang. Like, the opposite of twink, if you catch my drift.”

“Ah, I get it.” He didn’t.

“So, same time again tomorrow, then?”

“Deal.”


End file.
